Former President, Gerald Ford, Died

Gerald R. Ford, the President that succeeded Richard Nixon, died at 6:45 pm yesterday (Tuesday, December 26, 2006), at the age of 93, in Ranco Mirage, 130 miles east of Los Angeles.

Former President Ford dies at 93

Funny hubby and his Christmas present to me

Okay, so I'm really going to get ready for bed soon. I was checking my e-mail, and I saw a message from Ebay, providing an answer to an alleged question. I thought it was yet another e-mail I'd have to stamp as spam but took a look just to make sure. To make a long story short, my husband used my Ebay account to order my Christmas present. Funny one that husband. He has an Ebay account, but he's using mine to do transactions.

Though I wanted a surprise, I'm excited about my Christmas present. He got me an Ipod Shuffle 2nd Generation, with 1 GB on it! It ships tomorrow. Since it's coming from Dallas, Texas, I'm hoping, hoping, hoping it will arrive before I leave for my trip to Washington D.C. Listening to wonderful music will help distract me from missing my family ever much.

Goodnight to all.

Too late to take this one back

Since I was pregnant and have gone off of my coffee addiction, I am ultra sensitive to caffeine. I just got a reminder of this! I drank a huge cup of yummy hot chocolate, made with Mexican chocolate, and though I am drop-dead tired, I'm also wired. Nuts.

Oh, oh, a baby has awaken. Must go tend to her, eat, and then go to bed. Ta ta.

One day at a time

Life has had its challenges as of late. Such struggles have brought me not just to my pre-pregnancy weight (which was around 134), not just below my weight-lifting competition weight of four years ago (which was 119), but even below that. I've got to take better care. Must eat better and more frequently, not just for my sake, but for the baby's sake. It's difficult to produce quality milk when I'm not eating properly. More over, I must remember I've got a husband and a baby girl, both of whom I love dearly. Must not get super sad, down, and distressed.

Must take it one day at a time.

The increasing interest in my blogs tickles me pink

Relatively recently, I asked Troy what he saw me doing professionally or occupationally in the best of possible worlds. In other words, if there were no restraints and there were ideal conditions, what does he see me doing. His response? A socialite.

What? A socialite? Though I am not an extreme extrovert, by any stretch of the imagination (I tested right between the two, introvert and extrovert, when I last took the Myers-Brigg personality test in college), I am quite an extrovert in his mind's eye. He did hit the nail on the head in terms of the fact that I love to talk and interact with people.

Since moving to South Texas and even still, I feel isolated. I have a few close friends . . . Manda, Junko . . . I have to scratch my head to think up some more names. That's not to say that I don't have other friends or people aren't kind to us. We love our church family, and I communicate with other people, too. Surely, the true meaning of "close" friends means something to everyone. I'm used to having more. Christine and I talk on the phone everyday. It's a very good thing we both have Cingular wireless. Abirami and I talk everyday.

A few people, especially on Troy's side of the family, have voiced their continued anticipation of when and what I'm going to post next. That tickles me pink. Why? I am plain jane. Nothing beyond the ordinary, here; that's what I think anyways. I'm honored that so many people not only take the time to look at all the stuff I've written, but look in anticipation! In some ways, realizing that people are waiting for me to write encourages me, makes me feel needed. That sounds a bit pathetic to me, that I feel better when others want to read what's going on in our lives, but it's true.

The social part of me is feeling deprived and frustrated

One thing I am really not used to as a new mom . . . well, I can't place responsibility on motherhood . . . it has more to do with being relatively new here (well, it's been over a year) . . . is not seeing people much. For one, I'm home all day, everyday, during the week; and that alone, makes me crazy.

I miss my best friend, Christine. When we both lived in Columbia, we were on the phone nearly everyday, if not everyday. And we saw each other frequently. Though she had dubbed me a socialite (because she thought I spend a lot of time socializing with people) and I had a super busy schedule, we always found time to spend with each other. We still talk to each other everyday, but I miss seeing her! I've never seen her son face-to-face, and she's never seen me pregnant or met my daughter.

Those of you who are teachers, you may appreciate this read

My mother-in-law forwarded this to me. Though I don't teach elementary school or grade school, as a teacher, I can definitely appreciate the message being communicated here:

THE BLUEBERRY STORY:
The Teacher Gives the Businessman a Lesson
By:  Jamie Robert Vollmer


"If I ran my business the way you people operate your schools, I wouldn't
be in business very long!"  I stood before an auditorium filled with
outraged teachers who were becoming angrier by the minute.  My speech
had entirely consumed their precious 90 minutes of in-service.  Their
initial icy glares had turned to restless agitation.  You could cut the
hostility with a knife.  I represented a group of business people
dedicated to improving public schools.  I was an executive at an ice cream
company that became famous in the middle 1980's when People Magazine chose
our blueberry as the "Best Ice Cream in America."

I was convinced of two things.  First, public schools needed to change;
they were archaic selecting and sorting mechanisms designed for the
industrial age and out of step with the needs of our emerging "knowledge
society."  Second, educators were a major part of the problem:  they
resisted change, hunkered down in their feathered nests, protected by
tenure and shielded by a bureaucratic monopoly.  They needed to look to
business.   We knew how to produce quality.  Zero defects!  Continuous
improvement!

In retrospect, the speech was perfectly balanced-equal parts ignorance and
arrogance.  As soon as I finished, a woman's hand shot up.  She appeared
polite, pleasant-she was, in fact, a razor-edged veteran high school
English teacher who had been waiting to unload.

She began quietly, "We are told, sir, that you manage a company that makes
good ice cream."

I smugly replied, "Best ice cream in America, Ma'am."

"How nice," she said, "Is it rich and smooth?"

"Sixteen percent butterfat," I crowed.

"Premium ingredients?" she inquired.

"Super premium!  Nothing but triple A."  I was on a roll.  I never saw the
next line coming.

"Mr. Vollmer," she said, leaning forward with a wicked eyebrow raised to
the sky, "When you are standing on your receiving dock and you see an
inferior shipment of blueberries arrive, what do you do?"

In the silence of that room, I could hear the trap snap.I was dead meat,
but I wasn't going to lie.  "I send them back."

"That's right," she barked, "and we can never send back our blueberries. 
We take them big, small, rich, poor, gifted, exceptional, abused,
frightened, confident, homeless, rude, and brilliant. We take
them with ADHD, junior rheumatoid arthritis, and English as their second
language.  We take them all!  Every one!  And that, Mr. Vollmer, is
why it's not a business.  It's school!"

In an explosion, all 290 teachers, principals, bus drivers, aides,
custodians, and secretaries jumped to their feet and yelled, "Yeah! 
Blueberries!  Blueberries!"

And so began my long transformation.  Since then, I have visited
hundreds of schools.  I have learned that a school is not a
business.  Schools are unable to control the quality of their raw
material.  They are dependent upon the vagaries of politics for a
reliable revenue stream, and they are constantly mauled by a howling
horde of disparate, competing customer groups that would send the best
CEO screaming into the night.

None of this negates the need for change.  We must change what, when,
and how we teach to give all children maximum opportunity to thrive
in a post-industrial society.  But educators cannot do this alone. 
These changes can occur only with the understanding, trust, permission,
and active support of the surrounding community.  For the
most important thing I have learned is that schools reflect the attitudes,
beliefs, and health of the communities they serve, and therefore, to
improve public education means more than changing our schools, it
means changing America.

one of my food addictions

I'm addicted to Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Chunk Milk Chocolate Macadamia Sausalito Crispy Cookies. That's all for now folks. Bye.

feeling like a total failure, professionally speaking

I finally had a little window of time, when Isabella was napping, to work on revising my CV. Working on my CV made me feel like crap. I'm updating and revising my CV in preparation to send out a lot of applications for the next academic year. I am anything but convinced that I have a lot going for me in getting a teaching position at a university for next year. Where are my non-existent putblications? Where is any evidence that I've been attending conferences and participating in panel reviews? Nowhere! I'm doomed. But, I need a job!

I really enjoy the work I do, philosophy, that is. But, I don't want to eat, drink, breathe, and sleep it to succeed. I'm serious about what I do, but I want to have a life, too. If I have to choose among God, philosophy, and family for priorities, it goes like this: God, family, and then philosophy.

I feel like crap. Feeling doomed job-wise. Feel like I'll lose big time in selling my self in the meat-market, I mean, philosophy job market.

Dove's campaign for real beauty

My sister forwarded this to me. When you see 'evolution' show up in the center, click on 'play film':

Dove: Campaign for Real Beauty

The e-mail that Dove sends to share this film with friends says:

"(Person's name) thought you'd be interested in this powerful short film from Dove, which explores how the "effortless" beauty we see on billboards is actually created. To view the film, and learn how you can make a difference, visit http://campaignforrealbeauty.com."

I certainly appreciated watching the film, and I think you will, too.

sudoku, sudoku, sudoku

one thing i do to pass time while i'm nursing my little one is to do sudoku puzzles. my mother-in-law got me into doing those puzzles; she got me started around the birth of isabella. now, i've done 40 puzzles, starting from easy to medium. i have a few more puzzles in the medium level before i hit the hard ones. we'll see how i do!

niao mi is more comfortable with getting around without seeing

I noticed that Niao Mi (our 17 year old cat) is having an easier time getting around without seeing now. He's actually getting on objects above the ground, like he used to. Yesterday, while Troy was eating on the recliner, Niao Mi made his way to where Troy was by first getting on the futon and then jumping on the right hand rest of the recliner. He didn't stay for long, because Troy was wearing shorts. I think Niao Mi prefers Troy's jeans.

He's also sleeping on the futon more, like he did before. And, as I am typing this, he's resting in his carrying case, which sits on top of a storage box. I say he's getting around quite well. He hasn't tried to claw his way onto our bed yet. Less than a week ago, he was sleeping with us approximately an hour or so at night. Wonder whether he'll return to doing that some time.

He's also finding his food and water, most of the time, without any problem. However, if his food has been sitting for several hours or half a day, he can't smell it! As a sympathetic one, I drop some fresh food into his bowl when he looks like he's ready to chomp some more. He's lost a lot of weight in the last few months, though you couldn't tell by looking at him; he has loads of fur.

the failing health of my cat of 17 years

several days ago, i noticed that niao mi (pronounced "knee-owww me") had trouble seeing. don't know whether he's completely blind or nearly blind. whatever the case, he's moving around by familiarity and scent.

another problem is that he's been throwing up yellow at least once every 24 hours, except yesterday. looks like he regurgitated food yesterday.

a friend, te norman, came over yesterday late afternoon. she has cats and she has had cats in the past. she's a very observant, astute, and keen individual when it comes to cats and dogs. i was feeling really sad that niao mi couldn't see. more importantly, i wasn't sure whether that bothered him. she looked for signs of responding badly to not being able to see - such as inappropriate purring, sluggishness, etc. he doesn't seem to be exhibiting that. also, he doesn't have any crustiness or puss around his eyes. his eyes do look dialated though, regardless of the amount of light available in any given place. . .

as for throwing up yellow, we looked for other signs of possible kidney failure and spotted none. there's no blood in his urine. he's still drinking water (in fact he drank water while te was over). he's still eating, when he can smell the food.

so, i'm going to closely monitor what's going on with him. for the time being, i'm going to keep him home (he so hates visiting the veterinarian). and, when i'm home, i try to talk to him more. and, whenever i approach him, i vocally let him know, so i won't startle him when i pet him.

like a book that te brought over noted, cats don't know they're not supposed to be blind; so, they won't mourn their loss of sight. they simply adapt or adjust to not being able to see.

i'm feeling particularly sad

I'm not entirely certain why I'm feeling particularly sad, but I am. Could be partially hormonal. Could be partly because I know that Manda and Johnny are trying to leave South Texas as soon as possible. Can't they stay at least until May? Okay, okay, I do want what's best for them, even if that means going to the other side of the country, but that doesn't mean I have to be jolly about the possibility. What else is making me sad? Not sure.

did i accidentally kill my two goldfish?

i'm been procrastinating, in terms of cleaning my fish tank. i've had benny and joon for nearly a month, and the fish tank has desperately needed to be cleaned. well, today was the day to clean it! decided the poor fish could use a clean home. don't ever remember changing a fish tank previously. manda showed me how to change the tank. but after i put the fish into a bowl of water while i cleaned the tank, they became extremely still. when i put them back into the clean tank, with new water and the special water drops, they were floating on the top for awhile. i knew they weren't dead because their gils were moving. but, they kept floating on the top for awhile, sometimes on their sides. was i supposed to put those special drops in that bowl of water????

they seem to be doing better now. perhaps i just shocked them for a spell. poor fish. well, at least they have a clean home, for now.

my dissertation defense date has been set!

good news, good news, good news. heard back from my second reader today. he sent an attachment with ten pages of comments on my dissertation. haven't went through all the comments, yet. but, they seem helpful and constructive, from what i've seen. and, he said i don't have to make corrections before my defense.

my goal is to go through those comments carefully in the next week or so.

my defense is set for thursday, july 6, 2006, at 1 pm. tonight, i just purchased our plane tickets for our trip to columbia, missouri. so far, we have a defense scheduled and plane tickets in hand. yay!!!!!!! while we're there, of course, i keep us busy with activities, hopefully not too overwhelming for the hubby.

what a way to make my day so much better. yes! the big dissertation.

my day started out all wrong. made the mistake of reading an e-mail from our lawyer at 1 AM in the morning. can't write about the particular issue and put it in cyberspace, since the case is still in session, pending, or whatever the right word is. being preggers and reading a message like that late a night - bad idea on my part. kept me awake for at least two hours, thinking about the issue and the impending reality of having to go to court.

anyways, not much later, spoke with my dissertation advisor, who just returned from a conference overseas. turns out she approves my dissertation. what?! MY DISSERTATION ADVISOR HAS APPROVED MY DISSERTATION. that means that my dissertation goes to my second reader. sent a copy of my dissertation to him earlier today - the title page, chs. 1-7, and the works cited. and, my dissertation advisor told me to schedule an oral defense date. i am so excited and so relieved.

so, even though i'm running on low fuel (from sleeping so poorly yesterday), i'm feeling great. praise the lord that some things in my life are going well, even though other things might not be.

things going well in lily's life now (let's be positive!) -

• dissertation has been approved by my first reader.
• hubby's picking up more household duties - like car maintenance.
• niao mi hasn't thrown up for a few days.
• i love my hubby so very much.
• hubby loves me a great deal.
• we have a little munchkin in utero who is growing everyday and getting ready for her entrance into the world.
• troy may have a job lined up for the next academic year.
• we have wonderful friends, locally and elsewhere, that we dearly love and that love us back.
• one of my really good friends, richard, is coming to visit around christmas time (he's originally from england, though he may be coming from geneva - don't know).
• parents, sister and brother-in-law had a safe and enjoyable journey overseas.
• the list doesn't stop here! i have so much for which to be thankful.
  

the dissertation is out of my hands, for the moment, whoo hoo!

On Friday, May 26, I had an unpleasant, lengthy conversation with my dissertation advisor. She spent a good thirty or forty minutes basically making me feel worthless. Only in the last ten minutes, did she give me very general directions and suggestions (I mean VERY GENERAL) for the chapters she didn't like - Chs. 5 & 6, on Confucius and on comparing Aristotle and Confucius. Honestly, those two chapters do not affect the overall content of my dissertation significantly.

Cried over the next day or so. She made me feel super bad! Being preggers and having worked hard on the dissertation in recent weeks didn't help.

Got to work on revising Chs. 5 & 6, though I didn't know exactly what she expects or wants. Took a look at a couple of resources, per her suggestion, before making revisions.

This past Monday, June 5th, I began reading Chs. 1-6 for typos and grammatical mistakes. Today, I finished proofreading the chapters and finished writing the conclusion chapter - Ch. 7.

Not even half an hour ago today, Wed., June 7th, I e-mail Chs. 1-7 and the Works Cited to my dissertation advisor. My dissertation advisor's not due to arrive back in the country from attending a conference for another couple of days. She requested that I e-mail her Chs. 1-4 or Chs. 1-5 by June 9. Instead, I'm not only sending her material early, but I'm sending the entire substantive content of the dissertation.

Hope she arrives back in the States more cheerful and less stressed than when she left. Hope she calls me only after she's had some rest and only after she has genuinely taken a look at my dissertation. I really hope the substantive work for the dissertation is finished. We shall see.

For the time being, I have at least a day or two rest from dissertation work. Whew! What a relief. I'll take whatever I can get.

I'm so TIRED of working on my dissertation and reading my dissertation

I have finished revising those two chapters, Chapter 5 and 6, with which my dissertation advisor had some problems, to the best of my ability, given the little information she gave me. Finished revising Ch. 5 yesterday and finished working on Ch. 6 today. Tomorrow, I've got to revise portions of Ch. 1, in which I talk about Confucius, Ch. 5, and Ch. 6. From there, I've got to check Chs. 1 through 6 for any typos or mistakes. I'd like to finish writing Ch. 7, the conclusion chapter, if time permits. Whatever the case, I'm suppose to e-mail at least Chs. 1-4 to my advisor by June 8. My goal is to e-mail her the entire dissertation.

But, I've got to confess, I'm really sick of reading my dissertation. And, I'm sick of working on my dissertation in general! I want to be done NOW! Will it ever be done?

dreadful dreams about dissertation advisor still not liking chapters in my dissertation

One of the most recent dreams I remember having last night involved my dissertation advisor still not liking my revisions. In the dream, she thought I didn't spend enough time discussing various topics, that are not directly related with my main dissertation topic. And she wasn't very specific about what she wanted. Our alleged conversation (that occurred in my dream) left me feeling very uneasy this morning, when I woke up.

Alright, before I start on my dissertation work, as I promised my accountability partner, Manda, I am going to start with some devotional time. Somehow, in the last few years, I've gotten in my head that for devotional time, I need to do more heavy laden work, rich in theology. But, given how poor my devotional life is currently (yes, that's a confession, and I'm repenting!), I need to get back to it. Manda's lent me Beth Moore's "A Heart Like His." I've done a few Beth Moore studies and I remember enjoying her stuff. So, here I go!