Everyday, soon after I get up, I put away the dishes washed the night before. My husband washes the dishes right before going to bed. Every morning, lately, various dishes are dirty even after he has "washed" them. Plates are still rough towards the center and crusty on the side, the lids of coffee decanters still have coffee residues on them, and other kitchenware have remnants of what them contained the previous day. Supposedly, he's been scrubbing those dishes harder, but dishes still come out dirty, day after day after day. Yet, briefly taking the rough, green side of the sponge to the dish and the dirtiness quickly goes away at my hand. Go figure.
He washed clothes some time over the weekend. And, four days later, the clothes are still sitting in his basket, not put away. Over a week ago, our previous landlord sent us a letter, claiming we owe her over $500. With her trying to take unfair advantage of us, my husband is in charge of contacting her (by mail is my preference), and he still has not written her a letter. In the meantime, she refuses to give back our $575 deposit. My husband waits forever to get anything done!!! He spends a fair portion of the day lost in thought and working on research (that may not get published any time soon, given the controversy over his research interest), but very little time doing what's practically important.
Though I'm teaching full time and I am finishing my dissertation, I'm still taking a large chunk of time (full-time, I'd say) taking care of our home. Some of those things, I enjoy doing, since I like matters done in a timely fashion; for instance, I pay bills. But, other things, cleaning up after my husband has been in the kitchen (wiping countertops, putting away unused items, rewashing what wasn't cleaned well the first time), I don't enjoy doing. And, such activities eat up a significant amount of time. For my husband to bag up any garbage at all, he has to be asked to do so. I end up barreling the trash to the curb more than he does, and if he's not reminded to roll the garbage out other times, he'll forget. He leaves lights on as he finishes and exists rooms; he leaves computers on (including leaving monitors on) after he's done using them. My husband's obliviousness and absentmindedness is so annoying and costly sometimes!
What's offensive and annoying about his absentmindedness is partly the waste of resources, but mostly, I take that as he doesn't really care about me. All that matters in this world is him. He's consumed by his own interests, and nothing else and no one else interest him. In fact, lately, when I am speaking with my husband, he has not been listening. You'd think I'd learn the first ten thousand times and give up trying to talk to him. But, crazy as this seems, there's a deep yearning to connect with him. Sighhhhhhhhhhhh.
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