The increasing interest in my blogs tickles me pink

Relatively recently, I asked Troy what he saw me doing professionally or occupationally in the best of possible worlds. In other words, if there were no restraints and there were ideal conditions, what does he see me doing. His response? A socialite.

What? A socialite? Though I am not an extreme extrovert, by any stretch of the imagination (I tested right between the two, introvert and extrovert, when I last took the Myers-Brigg personality test in college), I am quite an extrovert in his mind's eye. He did hit the nail on the head in terms of the fact that I love to talk and interact with people.

Since moving to South Texas and even still, I feel isolated. I have a few close friends . . . Manda, Junko . . . I have to scratch my head to think up some more names. That's not to say that I don't have other friends or people aren't kind to us. We love our church family, and I communicate with other people, too. Surely, the true meaning of "close" friends means something to everyone. I'm used to having more. Christine and I talk on the phone everyday. It's a very good thing we both have Cingular wireless. Abirami and I talk everyday.

A few people, especially on Troy's side of the family, have voiced their continued anticipation of when and what I'm going to post next. That tickles me pink. Why? I am plain jane. Nothing beyond the ordinary, here; that's what I think anyways. I'm honored that so many people not only take the time to look at all the stuff I've written, but look in anticipation! In some ways, realizing that people are waiting for me to write encourages me, makes me feel needed. That sounds a bit pathetic to me, that I feel better when others want to read what's going on in our lives, but it's true.

The social part of me is feeling deprived and frustrated

One thing I am really not used to as a new mom . . . well, I can't place responsibility on motherhood . . . it has more to do with being relatively new here (well, it's been over a year) . . . is not seeing people much. For one, I'm home all day, everyday, during the week; and that alone, makes me crazy.

I miss my best friend, Christine. When we both lived in Columbia, we were on the phone nearly everyday, if not everyday. And we saw each other frequently. Though she had dubbed me a socialite (because she thought I spend a lot of time socializing with people) and I had a super busy schedule, we always found time to spend with each other. We still talk to each other everyday, but I miss seeing her! I've never seen her son face-to-face, and she's never seen me pregnant or met my daughter.

Those of you who are teachers, you may appreciate this read

My mother-in-law forwarded this to me. Though I don't teach elementary school or grade school, as a teacher, I can definitely appreciate the message being communicated here:

THE BLUEBERRY STORY:
The Teacher Gives the Businessman a Lesson
By:  Jamie Robert Vollmer


"If I ran my business the way you people operate your schools, I wouldn't
be in business very long!"  I stood before an auditorium filled with
outraged teachers who were becoming angrier by the minute.  My speech
had entirely consumed their precious 90 minutes of in-service.  Their
initial icy glares had turned to restless agitation.  You could cut the
hostility with a knife.  I represented a group of business people
dedicated to improving public schools.  I was an executive at an ice cream
company that became famous in the middle 1980's when People Magazine chose
our blueberry as the "Best Ice Cream in America."

I was convinced of two things.  First, public schools needed to change;
they were archaic selecting and sorting mechanisms designed for the
industrial age and out of step with the needs of our emerging "knowledge
society."  Second, educators were a major part of the problem:  they
resisted change, hunkered down in their feathered nests, protected by
tenure and shielded by a bureaucratic monopoly.  They needed to look to
business.   We knew how to produce quality.  Zero defects!  Continuous
improvement!

In retrospect, the speech was perfectly balanced-equal parts ignorance and
arrogance.  As soon as I finished, a woman's hand shot up.  She appeared
polite, pleasant-she was, in fact, a razor-edged veteran high school
English teacher who had been waiting to unload.

She began quietly, "We are told, sir, that you manage a company that makes
good ice cream."

I smugly replied, "Best ice cream in America, Ma'am."

"How nice," she said, "Is it rich and smooth?"

"Sixteen percent butterfat," I crowed.

"Premium ingredients?" she inquired.

"Super premium!  Nothing but triple A."  I was on a roll.  I never saw the
next line coming.

"Mr. Vollmer," she said, leaning forward with a wicked eyebrow raised to
the sky, "When you are standing on your receiving dock and you see an
inferior shipment of blueberries arrive, what do you do?"

In the silence of that room, I could hear the trap snap.I was dead meat,
but I wasn't going to lie.  "I send them back."

"That's right," she barked, "and we can never send back our blueberries. 
We take them big, small, rich, poor, gifted, exceptional, abused,
frightened, confident, homeless, rude, and brilliant. We take
them with ADHD, junior rheumatoid arthritis, and English as their second
language.  We take them all!  Every one!  And that, Mr. Vollmer, is
why it's not a business.  It's school!"

In an explosion, all 290 teachers, principals, bus drivers, aides,
custodians, and secretaries jumped to their feet and yelled, "Yeah! 
Blueberries!  Blueberries!"

And so began my long transformation.  Since then, I have visited
hundreds of schools.  I have learned that a school is not a
business.  Schools are unable to control the quality of their raw
material.  They are dependent upon the vagaries of politics for a
reliable revenue stream, and they are constantly mauled by a howling
horde of disparate, competing customer groups that would send the best
CEO screaming into the night.

None of this negates the need for change.  We must change what, when,
and how we teach to give all children maximum opportunity to thrive
in a post-industrial society.  But educators cannot do this alone. 
These changes can occur only with the understanding, trust, permission,
and active support of the surrounding community.  For the
most important thing I have learned is that schools reflect the attitudes,
beliefs, and health of the communities they serve, and therefore, to
improve public education means more than changing our schools, it
means changing America.

one of my food addictions

I'm addicted to Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Chunk Milk Chocolate Macadamia Sausalito Crispy Cookies. That's all for now folks. Bye.

feeling like a total failure, professionally speaking

I finally had a little window of time, when Isabella was napping, to work on revising my CV. Working on my CV made me feel like crap. I'm updating and revising my CV in preparation to send out a lot of applications for the next academic year. I am anything but convinced that I have a lot going for me in getting a teaching position at a university for next year. Where are my non-existent putblications? Where is any evidence that I've been attending conferences and participating in panel reviews? Nowhere! I'm doomed. But, I need a job!

I really enjoy the work I do, philosophy, that is. But, I don't want to eat, drink, breathe, and sleep it to succeed. I'm serious about what I do, but I want to have a life, too. If I have to choose among God, philosophy, and family for priorities, it goes like this: God, family, and then philosophy.

I feel like crap. Feeling doomed job-wise. Feel like I'll lose big time in selling my self in the meat-market, I mean, philosophy job market.

Dove's campaign for real beauty

My sister forwarded this to me. When you see 'evolution' show up in the center, click on 'play film':

Dove: Campaign for Real Beauty

The e-mail that Dove sends to share this film with friends says:

"(Person's name) thought you'd be interested in this powerful short film from Dove, which explores how the "effortless" beauty we see on billboards is actually created. To view the film, and learn how you can make a difference, visit http://campaignforrealbeauty.com."

I certainly appreciated watching the film, and I think you will, too.