Thursday, November 09, 2006

feeling like a total failure, professionally speaking

I finally had a little window of time, when Isabella was napping, to work on revising my CV. Working on my CV made me feel like crap. I'm updating and revising my CV in preparation to send out a lot of applications for the next academic year. I am anything but convinced that I have a lot going for me in getting a teaching position at a university for next year. Where are my non-existent putblications? Where is any evidence that I've been attending conferences and participating in panel reviews? Nowhere! I'm doomed. But, I need a job!

I really enjoy the work I do, philosophy, that is. But, I don't want to eat, drink, breathe, and sleep it to succeed. I'm serious about what I do, but I want to have a life, too. If I have to choose among God, philosophy, and family for priorities, it goes like this: God, family, and then philosophy.

I feel like crap. Feeling doomed job-wise. Feel like I'll lose big time in selling my self in the meat-market, I mean, philosophy job market.

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