Why oh why the struggle over how I look?

I confess that the standard by which I look at others and the standard by whicl I look at myself are completely different. I'm not really certain what the standard for looking and examining myself is, but I don't meet it most of the time. As for others, I see people in general as beautiful. I'm fascinated with people: how they dress, how people carry themselves, how people interact with one another. People of varying characteristics - gender, race, size, shape, curvatures, whatever - are all creatures of beauty. For instance, my husband and I were walking along a beach, and I simply drank in the breath-taking wonders of nature and looked with joy at the numerous people scattered across the beach.

The story about me is not so fascinating. I struggle with not being whatever I believe society expects me to look. On the one hand, I desire to look extremely attractive. But what does that mean? I don't look like the stick thin models in J. Crew or Banana Republic magazines. I sure as heck don't look anything like the models in beauty magazines, like Vogue or Cosmopolitan. I certainly have a woman's body, fully equipped with boobs, a tummy, and hips. I've been lifting weights for six years in the running, so I might appear a bit buffer than average woman. In terms of physical upkeep of myself, I try to eat well and exercise regularly. But, I get the feeling that that's not enough. I need to be toothpick thin, lose any semblance of a tummy, and become thinner. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

My closest friends and even my spouse get tired of hearing that I feel fat, and I don't blame them at all (I would probably respond the same way in their position). The response is almost unanimous. I'm not fat and I need to stop worrying about it and stop thinking about it. They can't believe that someone like me would buy into thinking of myself as fat. Okay, okay, so I see that there is a disparity between how I see myself and how others see myself. But, I don't know how to close the gap. I certainly don't want to waste my time or energy feeling this way. I'd rather have one less thing about which to worry. What is the solution?